Big changes are coming to my household, much sooner than I ever anticipated. On February 18, CoCo is being released from the hospital and is moving in with me and my family. This requires a lot of preparation. She needs to be upstairs and that means moving Ian out of his room to the downstairs. We are going to turn our downstairs office into a bedroom, move Tawni in there and move Ian into Tawni's current room, which I need to paint because Ian won't want to be surrounded by lavender and green stripes. We need to install a door for the office/bedroom and paint it also. In addition to the room juggling, I need to make sure my house is wheelchair/handicap accessible. We need to get some bars for the shower and bathroom, a shower seat, a handheld shower head, a stair gate, and anything else the therapists tell me I need when they come to do a home assessment next Tuesday.
Luckily my sister has medicaid but once she leaves the hospital the benefits decrease significantly. They won't even pay for outpatient speech therapy. CoCo's speech therapist has applied for a grant to help with that and hopefully it will be approved. Medicaid will pay for 8-10 outpatient physical therapy sessions and that's it. We are more than blessed to have a sister-in-law who just happens to be a rehab-therapist and is trying to set things up so that she can work with CoCo pro-bono once the benefits run out. Thank you Peter for marrying Jenn and leaving sunny California for our cold and bitter winter climate!
I met with the social worker yesterday assigned to CoCo's case and we discussed in length the responsibilities of a caregiver. This is a role that I seem to find myself in over and over again. But never to this degree. This is full-time in my own home. It completely changes all of our home and family dynamics. If I'm to be honest, I will admit that I'm scared nigh unto death.
There have been times in my life when I've had to rely solely on the Lord for strength. This is one of those times. I crave time with the Book of Mormon. I find so much peace, love, and wisdom in its pages, along with a strong desire to do better, to give more. And with that desire comes the strength to do so. Every morning I'm on my knees, giving thanks and petitioning for more help. Throughout the day my thoughts are like a constant prayer, keeping the connection open in case of an emergency. I need my Savior by my side because He is where I find the most help.
This experience is teaching me many things; compassion, love, patience, forgiveness, humility... One of my most difficult lessons is learning to ask others for assistance. When trials strike, I tend to hunker down and ride it out, by myself. I can't do that this time. I need help from my family and friends. Peter and Jenn are a huge help, even offering to take CoCo at night or on weekends or whenever they can. I feel very protective towards my sister and I want her with me, but I will never turn away an offer of help such as Peter and Jenn are willing to give. Lori may not live in the same state, but her support and love never end. She sends clothing up that CoCo needs. She acts as an advocate for all of us, talking with the hospital staff and researching, offering knowledge and help however she can. She's only a phone call away and is more than willing to listen to a tired sister unload.
On Wednesday it was CoCo's 49th birthday. I arranged a party that evening for her and invited the family members. All of her children came. It was so wonderful to see the sweet way they interact with their mom. They are young, with jobs and school, and new families, but when they take time out of their busy schedules and devote it to their mother, everyone is blessed. Every effort they make is greatly appreciated. Not only were the kids there, but Peter and Jenn came too. They brought a computer and through Skype, CoCo was able to talk with Lori in California, and our brother, Andy and his family in North Carolina. It was a wonderful night and my sweet sister glowed with the love of her family. And that one word--family--is what this all seems to be about. I don't believe our families were selected in heaven by a random drawing. I think Heavenly Father helped us to form relationships with those that he knew would help and love each other in any circumstance. And then He sent us here together to give it a shot. I am very grateful for the members of my family. My husband, kids, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, in-laws... the list keeps going... in one eternal round.
