I have issues. Motivational ones. Well, there are others, but I'm choosing to focus on one at a time. This motivational issue plagues me almost daily, and has since about December. Once in a while I pull out of it and get many wonderful things accomplished. Like mopping, scrubbing toilets, vacuuming, organizing, etc... But mostly, I sit in the chair in my bedroom and stare out the window observing the weather, like an arthritic old woman in an assisted living facility. I play farmtown and fishville on facebook, check my email, check the online weather, and read blogs. Sometimes I read books, but it can't be anything too meaty. My brain is only able to absorb fluff. I find myself daydreaming about my next potential girl's outing or a date night with Scott. I often nod off and jerk awake multiple times before deciding to lay down for a quick snooze that ends several hours later.
Goodness, this sounds terrible, doesn't it? I'm making myself out to be a complete sloth. I should change my name to Sid and develop a slurpy lisp.
In fairness to myself, I think I will now list the things I do in between chair sittings. There are a.m. and p.m. carpools to junior high and elementary, breakfast for children, laundry and dishes, toys to pick-up, and Christeal to entertain. If I don't entertain Christeal well enough then I scrub marker and lipstick off the walls, re-fold laundry, re-make my bed, re-roll toilet paper, and sweep up cracker crumbs. I also transport Christeal to and from visits with her parents every Tuesday and Thursday. That takes an hour and ten minutes out of my day right there. This week I have the added joy of supervising these four-hour visits. There are dinners to prepare and more dishes to wash and homework to oversee and school projects to command. Baths and showers, bedtime rituals, and medications to administer to three children add a little more spice. Every so often I retrieve a runaway, break up fights, mop up spills or pee, and wipe butts that are in and out of diapers. Let's not forget the menu planning, grocery shopping, and pharmacy runs. Dentists, doctors, phone calls, caseworkers... I could go on and on and on...
I guess it's okay to be a bit unmotivated. I just needed to see the reasons why listed in front of me. And here comes one of those reasons.
Christeal is naked for the fourth time today. She thinks it's great fun to take off her diapers. This morning I sent Zack downstairs to get her out of bed. He came back upstairs, arms empty and laughing, "I'm not gettin' that. I walked in her room and saw her naked butt in the air. I don't want to hold a naked baby."
So today, in addition to everything else, I washed Christeal's bedding because she peed on everything. I'd better go put a cover on her waterworks before she springs another leak. And then I'll pursue that motivational issue some more... right into my chair.
