I often have conversations with Julie about current and past friendships. Being Julie's friend is an all or nothing kind of deal. There is no half-way. She knows the meaning of friendship better than anyone I've ever known and she gives one-hundred percent of herself to her friendships. I had a hard time with this at the beginning of our relationship. It seemed so foreign to me and I would often tell her how "new" this concept was because I'd never had it before. (I'm shaking my head here and sighing at myself.)
Last month I received an email from Heather Nielson Wimmer. My first ever best friend. Heather and I lived next door to each other in Boulder City, Nevada for about five years. We met at the tender age of three and like most young children, only had to say "let's be friends" and it was a done deal. Included in Heather's email was a Polaroid of the two of us. Two adorable little girls. I can remember sitting on the floor in Heather's bedroom while she "played" with my hair. We would take turns brushing and braiding, enjoying the tingling and trance inducing feel of small fingers in long locks. I remember playing house, swinging on Heather's swing set, playing with our Madame Alexander dolls (outside in the dirt), and including siblings and neighbor kids in Mother May I? and Red Light Green Light. Over the years my family moved several times and so did Heather's. But here we are, thirty-seven years after our first meeting, and I can still call her my friend.When I was eight-years-old we moved to Amarillo, Texas. It took a while for me to fit in and find friends and I spent quite a bit of time lonely and feeling sorry for myself. But in fourth grade I met Judy Cohen and all that changed. I went from being a shy, quiet, well-behaved girl to a loud, obnoxious, happy, trouble-maker. It wasn't that Judy was a bad influence. She wasn't. Together we just brought out the goofiness that was lying dormant inside. Judy's dad was a doctor and she only had one sister, therefore, she had a lot of privileges that I didn't. In other words, she was a rich little Jewish girl. She introduced me to cable television, Atari, and mustard-roast beef sandwiches. I learned how to dance the hora and play with a dreidel. Sadly, our friendship only lasted one year because her family moved. And I was on my own once again.
Enter Jennifer Gilbert and sixth grade. Jennifer already had a bff and when we became friends, it didn't go over so well with Deirdre. There was a lot of drama, but that didn't stop us from maintaining our friendship. We read every Nancy Drew book in our school library, we played with my dollhouse, went to Saturday matinees, and talked about boys. I went to Jennifer's Methodist church and she came to my little brother's baptism. We passed notes during classes at school and served detention together after getting caught. And like all my other friendships, this one too ended with a move. Jennifer went to Tulsa, Oklahoma and I went to Orem, Utah. We stayed in touch until eighth grade, and then drifted our separate ways.
But in eighth grade I met a girl in my Utah Studies class. She had long blonde hair and it was tied up in pony tails on either side of her head. She looked like she had massive dog ears. Priscilla Udall and I bonded at the library while working on a history project. After that we were inseparable. We did our homework together, we had sleepovers and read and discussed historical romance novels. We went to Lake Powell together and skinny-dipped with all Cilla's female relatives at what her family called "the bathing rock." It was a grand time and I saw my first white whale and even tried it myself. Cilla and I caused our chemistry teacher in high school to take a sabbatical. We goofed off so much in his class I think he gave us C's just to get rid of us. As we got older we double dated and confided major secrets to each other. Cilla was my maid of honor at my wedding and we spent the night together before my big day. I got married and she went off to college, but I was there at her wedding too. We helped paint each other's first homes and hung out with our spouses, and visited each other in the hospital when babies were born. About thirteen years ago, Cilla and her husband moved to North Carolina and we lost touch with each other. But thanks to facebook, we connected last year. Cilla was in Utah visiting her family and we got together for lunch. It felt as if no time had passed. She was still the same girl with doggie ears that I'd met years ago in a junior high history class.
All this came back to me as I looked at a Polaroid of two small girls in Boulder City, Nevada. And to think I thought I'd never had a best friend like Julie. All my life I've been blessed with bff's. As an adult in my pre-Julie days, I'd gotten caught up in being a wife and mother, which is okay, don't get me wrong. But bff's make life so much richer and more bearable. Thanks, Heather for helping me remember, and thanks Julie for being the ultimate BFF.
